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"Well," he said, pausing between each word as he delivered the news, "I'm gay."

"Really?" she asked. Her face froze in shock. "Ooooohkay." She started peppering him with questions: "Are you sure? Do you really know? When did you find out?" She also wanted to make sure that he was certain — she didn't want him to come out and then change his mind. He told her he didn't want to come out unless he was sure, and he knew by then that he was.

"Oh. Well, that's good," she responded.

At the end of their talk, she gave him a huge hug and told him, "You're still my best friend. I still love you." Then they went to tell her mom.

In the living room, Hope's mom watched TV from a La-Z-Boy-style recliner with Hoosier, the family's miniature dachshund. "We need to kind of talk to you," Hope said. Her mom muted the TV. "So ... Matthew's gay," Hope said.

Hope's mom sat for a second then replied with, "Ooooh, OK. That's cool!" Later, her mom told Hope's by-the-Bible father, who seemed to take it in stride.

"I kind of changed their thought on homosexuality," Matthew says now about Hope's parents. "They realized I'm still the same kid they've known forever, and it wasn't my choice to be this way; it's how I'm made. I wouldn't really want to choose to be in a minority group or choose to be put aside. And they realize that."

Coming out to his parents wasn't as easy.

On a recent Tuesday afternoon, Matthew and three of his best friends wolf down roast-beef sandwiches, wraps and curly fries at Arby's. The Corinth Square location, near 84th Street and Mission, is a frequent pit stop for the group.

To his right sits 18-year-old Serena Verden, a slender brunette with intense blue eyes. She used to have a big crush on Matthew. Also at the table are 18-year-olds Jonathan Firth, a friendly blond, and Beau Atkinson, a quiet guy in madras shorts. In between eating and texting, they talk about driving around and getting lost, hanging out in Jonathan's basement and decorating floats for Lancer Day. The talk soon turns to prom, which is coming up on May 10 at Union Station. Serena and Matthew went together last year.

"Prom was so much fun," Serena says.

Matthew agrees. "I'm excited for this year's prom."

"Me, too. I need to get a date," Serena says. Matthew and Jonathan launch into how they went with older girls during their sophomore and freshman years.

"I want you to take me to prom! Because I'm not going to get a date!" Serena says to Matthew.

He assures her that she'll find a date, then ponders his own situation.

"I'm going with ... I don't know." He's been dating James, whom he met online, for about nine months. Their relationship is on-again, off-again.

"Whatever," Serena says.

They move on, discussing graduation parties and summer plans. Matthew, who has decided to go to the University of Oklahoma in the fall, will travel around the region to help coach cheerleading camps. Jonathan is taking a year off to work and will move into his grandmother's former house. Matthew will be his roommate for the summer. The thought of moving into the house and fixing it up stresses them out.

"Maybe we should just go over there and start doing stuff," Matthew says.

"We should," Jonathan agrees. Matthew points out that Jonathan's mom won't mind. "She'll be like, 'Oh, Matthew."

"They're great people," Jonathan says about his parents. "They accept a lot."

"The reason why I love his family is they're the most open-minded family you could ever have," Matthew says. Jonathan's dad, an ordained minister, is one of the four straight men in the Heartland Men's Chorus, and two of their neighbors are gay couples.

Jonathan talks about how some people they know think the topic of sexual preference is weird. Matthew brings up a recent trip to Colorado with an all-male ultimate Frisbee team. No one even said anything about him being gay.

"Pope did such a good job with, like, how he came out. It's just, like, he made it so comfortable to be like, 'Oh, Pope's gay. Let's make fun of him about it — kind of,'" Jonathan explains.

"Not make fun about it, but making fun of how people could take it," Matthew says.

"No one does. So we just kind of make fun. It's better than doing it in a mean way," Jonathan says. Speaking of mean ways, Matthew reminds his friends about the time he got rocks thrown at him. He went to the homecoming dance at Shawnee Mission North with a female friend, and at the after-party, two North guys instigated a fight. But then, he says, everyone else at the party broke it up and asked him if he was OK.

"They're just North," Jonathan says.

"Yeah, they're North. They're different," Matthew replies.

"That's all. That's all it is," Jonathan says.

During the summer before Matthew's junior year, his dad died unexpectedly. His heart just stopped. Richard Pope had worked at Central Plains Steel in sales. He helped design their house, and he owned a restaurant. Matthew inherited his love of singing from his dad. In tribute, his mom paid for Matthew to get a tattoo when he turned 18 in March. His right shoulder blade bears a 2-inch banner that reads, "Dad." It's surrounded by music notes and is enclosed by a circle of dots. Their mutual love of music and singing now lives on in a pattern of dark ink.

After coming out to his sister in her car, they drove home to tell their mom. After they got home, they went to the kitchen and put some ice cream in bowls — Katie's suggestion, in case Matthew needed to focus on something if he couldn't talk. Then they went into their parents' room.

Write Your Comment show comments (12)

  1. Ok...here we go. My father is gay ( I am 47). I did not find out until 6 years ago. Long story short as to how I came into being but I love him, always will and no big deal. Interesting that he and I had the same take on this article...it should have been left alone. This is all great and wonderful for this guy and his friends and family however, these articles that highlight homosexuality, as well meaning as they are, in many ways and with many people give the immpression of an "gay agenda" and there is none. if he was hetrosexual this would not have been written. While we as a country have come a long way, we still have a ways to go. homosexuality sill has a lot of detractors. I come from the west coast and this is no big deal however many people here are still living in the 50's.Lets not in anyway keep this in the closet but by making this worthy of such a huge article it just adds fire to those that think there is an agenda to "push gayness" on other people and unfortunatly...there are plenty of "those"kinds of people still left. Let this filter out naturally, don't force it.

    Comment by Mark — May 7, 2008 @ 05:32PM

  2. Of course the pitch would finally pick up on this story. This is NOT the first time a gay student at SME has taken prom in this direction. This person is NOT the first male dancer. What a joke. It is not new! Just because a paper realizes it for the first time doesn't make it new. The don't realize it, doesn't mean he's the first gay kid at SME. He's the billionth. Its B.S. to pretend like he's making news. Good for his life, but don't act like he's won a prize. Life is life and get over it. You're screwing with his life and screwing with what people think of schools. It's not revolutionary. He's one of many.

    Comment by Former VP — May 8, 2008 @ 02:28AM

  3. Funny how some issues are "no big deal" until someone actually mentions it--and then they're full of negativity and vitriol.

    Mark, I hate to say it, but if your father was in the closet until he was sixty, he's the last person I would look to for a healthy attitude. This is a nice human interest story, and good for Matthew for being so popular by being himself.

    Comment by Sportin' Life — May 8, 2008 @ 02:23PM

  4. No it may not be new to have a gay home coming king but what is truly amazing is the way his peers accepted him. When I was in school this would not have been accepted. It is heartwarming to see that this generation has learned from our mistakes.

    Comment by Mark — May 8, 2008 @ 03:38PM

  5. He's a talented, popular, well-adjusted, happy gay kid who has been out since freshman year and was named Homecoming King. How can the first two commenters not recognize that highlighting someone like that is important to other young gays, who so often face hatred and violence? I'm only 35, but high school was hell for me, and I grew up in a wealthy, "progressive" school district.

    I saw bravo for profiling the kid and showing how normal he is, and how his peers don't care. Once everyone now under 30 is 50, there will be very little homophobia left in this country.

    I think it's really sad that anyone who supposedly supports gays could have a negative reaction to this article.

    Comment by Paul — May 8, 2008 @ 04:29PM

  6. As long as the kid agreed to do the article, I think it could be helpful for other gay students to see a positive role model. When I was his age, and even older I was told all gay people were pervs, and I believed it because I didn't know any other out gay people. Having information like this would have been helpful. Other than his father dying so young, it sounds like he's having a good life. Good for him.

    Comment by Troy — May 8, 2008 @ 09:32PM

  7. WhooptyDooo....we know what the pimple faced homecoming king-queen likes to do for sex!Who cares.What makes him special for being gay.I thought we are all just people and should be treated as the same.Right Libs?Its a sex act...not a race,religion or gender.Oh well...what are you gonna do.The Bitch writes as if 100% of its readers are gay.At least the "fruit fly-Fag hag"crowd enjoyed the article.You know...the cool chicks that always, allegedly,has a gay friend or Black friend (like a pet poodle)as some type of status symbol.

    Comment by billyb — May 9, 2008 @ 12:27PM

  8. Matthew is my brother (yes I am the Katie in the story with the "small silver car" - haha), and I know I am completely biased, but Matthew really is a happy, friendly person and great role-model for young kids, whether they are gay or straight or whatever. I agree with those of you who say that one of the functions of this article (along with being a human-interest piece) is to provide a story & support to young gay people who are trying to figure out who they are and who are scared of how their friends & others will accept them. I also think that it shows the general public that the younger generations are much more accepting than their older counterparts. I understand that this isn't the first time a gay, young, accepted, popular, happy kid has existed or been written about, but the same can be said about a lot of other human interest stories with a wide range of topics. So here's a suggestion for those of you who don't like what or who the Pitch (or any other publication) writes about... don't read it. :)

    Comment by Kt — May 9, 2008 @ 05:20PM

  9. I really think the reason as to why this story should be told is it is a sign of the times we live in. I graduated in 1968. Our homecoming King was captain of the football & basketball team. His queen was the daughter of the most prominent lawyer in town. They went to prom together. He was black - She was white. Back then it raised as many eyebrows as Matthew's story does today. Let's hope it does not take 40yrs for it to become moot.

    Comment by cjerryquick — May 10, 2008 @ 09:01AM

  10. Congrats Matthew!!

    I heard about you on the Feast of Fools Podcast....

    It would be really cool if they would interview you in their show....

    Derek

    http://www.dereketnyre.com

    Comment by Derek — May 12, 2008 @ 01:58PM

  11. I'm really proud of Matthew and proud that East (who is widely known to have a very poor reputation in the social acceptance department) is becoming open enough to accept anyone other than what is considered "mainstream norm" in society. Now maybe the staff and students can try to accept those students who dress differently as well. Not all of them are angry little psycho's. Some just like to be different.

    Comment by Mother of an East Student — May 12, 2008 @ 06:39PM

  12. As an old man who admires the procession of SME students on the streets throughout the Village, I want to add my congratulations to Matthew, his family and friends. Also, I want to say "thank you" to the author of this well written feature, that caused me to blubber a bit--in a quiet way. Why should any young man or woman in our comfortable middle class neighborhood have to face the soul-scarring experience of being judged or ridiculed for being "different"? Matthew, you are fortunate, I didn't have such good fortune when I was growing up in San Francisco--yes San Francisco, now the gay capital of the United States. So like some of your school mates, I tried hard to be as masculine as I was suppose to be; to carry my books the right way (no backpacks then), and to keep my eyes pointed the right direction in the gym shower room--I did all this out of great fear--fear that Matthew has been spared. There were no male cheer leaders in my day, but there were theatre clubs and classes. There was also my pride in playing the father, Joe, in the first non-pro-fessional production of Arthur Miller's "All My Sons" in my senior year. That was the year I was awarded an acting scholarship to Northwestern University, and then the beginning of a New York and West Coast directing career. Today I'm retired, with an attempt at marriage behind me. I'm writing my memoirs for a demanding publisher. And you, Matthew, my boy--go from this place to Oklahoma. Keep your head held high; hold tightly to the hand of James or whomever it will be. Have faith in the Great Spirit, in whom you will never walk alone.

    Comment by Paul — May 12, 2008 @ 07:55PM

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